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New York Tow Trucks Set World Record For Largest Parade/Assemblage Of Beer Guts


[Photo Source: AP Photo/Metropolitan NY Towing Association, Ray Stubblebine via The Washington Post]

Actually, all jesting aside, we think this is pretty cool: On Saturday, September 20, 2008, the Metropolitan New York Towing Association broke the world record for the largest parade of its kind, earning a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records. To prepare for the milestone event, 292 tow truck drivers and their rigs assembled in the parking lot at Shea Stadium on Saturday morning, inspiring a wave of idle observers to frantically run back and read the fine print on the sign they parked under.

From there, the well-hung procession snaked its way along New York’s roadways before arriving at their final parade stop, the tarmac at Brooklyn’s Floyd Bennett Field. Positioning themselves on the vacant airstrip to spell out “New York”, the Barons of the Belt Lift successfully shattered the previous world record, set in 2004 by 83 tow trucks in Washington State. [News Source: A slightly bitter Washington Post]



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Tokio Hotel’s Monster VMA Arrival On Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!

Yes, I admit I watched the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards last night, but ONLY to have a front row seat in the event that my favorite hot mess Britney Spears crashed and burned again [she didn't, but she still isn't quite the MILF that Christina Aguilera is]. Even though my reviews of just about everything are usually scathing and bitter-cat-lady-ish, the ‘08 VMA’s truly sucked. The whipped topping on the shit sundae was this year’s host, UK’s Russel Brand. I like to consider myself “with it”, but I have no idea who the hell that guy was and although he was probably going for the “suicide couture” look, his image left me with the distinct impression that he was either a.) coming off the crest of one mean bender with Kate Moss or b.) one of those guy-liner wearing kids from My Chemical Romance…at any rate, the single redeeming moment of the entire event was Tokio Hotel’s red carpet Grave Digger-revival grand entrance.Despite their effeminate clothing and angst-ridden music, emo band Tokio Hotel’s arrival was badass on AC/DC levels when the rolled up in a custom-painted Monster truck. My small victory over the compact car movement ultimately proved to be short-lived when another group I’ve never heard of, Paramore, showed up looking properly antiestablishment in a fleet of smart cars.

[Photo Source:MTV/Frank Miceoletta/Getty Images]



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Today’s Zoolander- esque Explosion Brought To You By Anderson, South Carolina


In Anderson, SC, police were summoned to a public park after receiving reports of a vehicle explosion that had occurred nearby. According to officers who responded to the scene, prior to the incident, the two men inside the car had been huffing computer keyboard cleaner. So intense it blew out all the car’s windows, the blast was apparently ignited when one of the men attempted to light a cigarette inside the car.

Miraculously still alive, both men were air lifted to the Augusta Burn Center to be treated for second degree burns on their face, neck, and chest. Authorities have not confirmed whether or not they plan to charge the two men with any criminal activity.

[News Source: foxcarolina.com]



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Jiangling Motors Plans European Factory, Ford Demonstrates Need For Brush-Up On “Tax Sheltering 101″

Jiangling Motors, the Chinese auto company and producer of Ford commercial vehicles, has announced plans to construct a production facility in Poland. Already slightly familiar with the terrain, in 2005, Jiangling’s European importation arm, Landwind Motors, introduced the X-Pedition to the European market with disastrous results. The vehicle fared reasonably well until German crash-test results revealed the X-Pedition to be essentially as safe as a can of tuna fish. The X-Pedition was immediately pulled from the market, heavily redesigned, and reintroduced in 2006 at the Paris Auto Show alongside another Landwind/Jiangling offering: the Fashion minivan. For no apparent reason, neither vehicle has yet to be officially released to the consuming public. At this time, we’d like to patiently remind all struggling Detroit auto corporations that, ideally, offshore tax shelters should spend as little time in the headlines as possible…

Although plan specifics are still being discussed with Polish authorities, if given the green light, Jiangling’s plant will make become the first one Chinese origin to be based on European soil. Unrealistically optimistic given their recent escapades, Jiangling/Landwind anticipate the European factory to average a yearly output of some 400,000 cars, placing it squarely above the region’s current leader in output Fiat Auto Poland with 362,000.

[News Source: Auto News]

Landwind X-Pedition SUV

Landwind X-Pedition SUV

Landwind Fashion Mid-Size Van

Landwind Fashion Mid-Size Van



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4,000 Gallons of Gas Stolen In Wisconsin, Citgo Customers Suspected

According to WauwatosaNOW, a local news website for Wauwatosa, WI, the district manager of Open Pantry Citgo in Wauwatosa has reported that he is missing approximately 4,090 gallons - $19,374 worth - of gas. Ruling out a technical discrepancy, the fuel supply company responsible for delivering gas to Open Pantry Citgo apparently checked and re-checked their wiring and readout systems, finding them in perfect working order. The fuel was apparently stolen over an estimated 6 week period, from July 16 to August 13, indicating the likelihood of several, smaller transactions as opposed to one large heist. Unable to produce any other rational explanation, the local Citgo’s district manager suspects that customers were the culprits, someone devising a way to force more fuel from the pumps then should have been allotted. In related news, the majority of Wauwatosa residents apparently hold advanced degrees in mechanical engineering.

Original Story At: WauwatosaNOW.com



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The Real Price of Oil: Dollars, Gold, and the Price of Tea in China

Oil, it’s the lifeblood of our society. It’s given us the freedom and wealth we have today. It’s given us automobiles and machinery and greased the wheels of the industrial revolution. It made old Jed a millionaire. But oil’s in trouble, the price is up and everyone thinks they understand it. But what if the price of oil wasn’t really up? What if it were just an illusion?

“The price of oil is skyrocketing, and that means gas prices are up…”
That’s about the limit of what most Americans know and understand about the whole oil situation. But there are more complex issues at work, and they involve more than just Middle East politics and China.

The American Geological Institute (AGI) recently released a report looking at the price of crude oil in relation to the U.S. dollar and the price per ounce of gold. It highlights a fact that probably makes some folks at the Federal Reserve very nervous.

This graph makes it easier to understand:

The bottom purple line is the price of a barrel of crude oil per ounce of gold (if you wanted to use gold to pay for a barrel of oil). As you can see, that line is stable, and has been for the entirety of the graph, which is about 7 years.
The top two lines are the price of oil in relation to currency (blue is the Dollar and the red is the Euro). Those lines show that the cost of oil has been going up in relation to currency only. What this chart makes obvious is that the value of oil has not been increasing in real terms, currency has just been decreasing in value.

To put it another way, if the US Dollar were still based on gold (as it was until Nixon eliminated the Bretton Woods system in 1971), then the price of oil would be just as stable as that purple line in the chart is.

So oil is worth the same, and the US dollar is just worth less. Maybe we need to shift our focus away from war and drilling; and towards a better economic policy at home.

Here is the AGI data report

And here’s the summary from the AGI report:

The steep increase in the price of crude oil in the United States remains a headline issue, along with the falling US dollar. The drop in the dollar has caused concern in oil-producing countries which use it as the economic basis for the commodity, and often their currency. The chart below shows the spot market price of crude oil per barrel (BBL) in US dollars and in euros from 2001 to today. The price of oil has grown faster relative to the dollar than to the euro. Yet, a portion of the rise in oil prices is due to the fall of the value of the dollar. The graph also shows the number of barrels of crude oil per cost of an ounce of gold, demonstrating the parallel growth in commodity pricing.
If the US dollar had remained strong in the global economy, oil might, in theory, be around $65 per barrel. However, oil is priced in dollars, and oil prices continue to rise. The impact of increased oil prices can not be ignored in the US economy, and, in turn, can further weaken the dollar. Resource economics is a complex feedback loop where today’s resource boom is driven by many external factors. This complex system bears watching by all geoscientists.



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Naked Blonde + Alcohol = Not As Hot As It Sounds

 In Jacksonville, Florida [State Motto: Most Of Our Elected Officials Have Been Indicted For Drug Trafficking], a woman in a white Honda CR-V went, to be colloquial, bat shit crazy.

According to police reports and witnesses at the scene, the absurdity began when the woman, identified as Holly Highfield [real name, not her stripper name], intentionally struck a bicyclist traveling on the side of the road. Next, Highfield abandoned her Honda on the side of the road [and the four children inside it] and attempted to hijack the vehicle of a motorist who had stopped to aid the injured bicyclist.

The motorist managed to prevent Highfield from absconding with his vehicle but Highfield was not to be deterred. After successfully commandeering another passersby unattended vehicle, Highfield proceeded to intentionally collide with her own Honda, but not before the eldest of Highfield’s four passengers had helped remove the children from the vehicle. Colliding with a fence before eventually coming to a stop and exiting the vehicle, Highfield then removed her clothes, and began running around in circles. Authorities who responded to the scene arrested Highfield for suspicion of DUI [suspicion? ] and transported her to Shands Jacksonville for evaluation [presumably of the psychiatric nature].

[Source: First Coast News]



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