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Tokio Hotel’s Monster VMA Arrival On Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!

Yes, I admit I watched the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards last night, but ONLY to have a front row seat in the event that my favorite hot mess Britney Spears crashed and burned again [she didn't, but she still isn't quite the MILF that Christina Aguilera is]. Even though my reviews of just about everything are usually scathing and bitter-cat-lady-ish, the ‘08 VMA’s truly sucked. The whipped topping on the shit sundae was this year’s host, UK’s Russel Brand. I like to consider myself “with it”, but I have no idea who the hell that guy was and although he was probably going for the “suicide couture” look, his image left me with the distinct impression that he was either a.) coming off the crest of one mean bender with Kate Moss or b.) one of those guy-liner wearing kids from My Chemical Romance…at any rate, the single redeeming moment of the entire event was Tokio Hotel’s red carpet Grave Digger-revival grand entrance.Despite their effeminate clothing and angst-ridden music, emo band Tokio Hotel’s arrival was badass on AC/DC levels when the rolled up in a custom-painted Monster truck. My small victory over the compact car movement ultimately proved to be short-lived when another group I’ve never heard of, Paramore, showed up looking properly antiestablishment in a fleet of smart cars.

[Photo Source:MTV/Frank Miceoletta/Getty Images]



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4,000 Gallons of Gas Stolen In Wisconsin, Citgo Customers Suspected

According to WauwatosaNOW, a local news website for Wauwatosa, WI, the district manager of Open Pantry Citgo in Wauwatosa has reported that he is missing approximately 4,090 gallons - $19,374 worth - of gas. Ruling out a technical discrepancy, the fuel supply company responsible for delivering gas to Open Pantry Citgo apparently checked and re-checked their wiring and readout systems, finding them in perfect working order. The fuel was apparently stolen over an estimated 6 week period, from July 16 to August 13, indicating the likelihood of several, smaller transactions as opposed to one large heist. Unable to produce any other rational explanation, the local Citgo’s district manager suspects that customers were the culprits, someone devising a way to force more fuel from the pumps then should have been allotted. In related news, the majority of Wauwatosa residents apparently hold advanced degrees in mechanical engineering.

Original Story At: WauwatosaNOW.com



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Naked Blonde + Alcohol = Not As Hot As It Sounds

 In Jacksonville, Florida [State Motto: Most Of Our Elected Officials Have Been Indicted For Drug Trafficking], a woman in a white Honda CR-V went, to be colloquial, bat shit crazy.

According to police reports and witnesses at the scene, the absurdity began when the woman, identified as Holly Highfield [real name, not her stripper name], intentionally struck a bicyclist traveling on the side of the road. Next, Highfield abandoned her Honda on the side of the road [and the four children inside it] and attempted to hijack the vehicle of a motorist who had stopped to aid the injured bicyclist.

The motorist managed to prevent Highfield from absconding with his vehicle but Highfield was not to be deterred. After successfully commandeering another passersby unattended vehicle, Highfield proceeded to intentionally collide with her own Honda, but not before the eldest of Highfield’s four passengers had helped remove the children from the vehicle. Colliding with a fence before eventually coming to a stop and exiting the vehicle, Highfield then removed her clothes, and began running around in circles. Authorities who responded to the scene arrested Highfield for suspicion of DUI [suspicion? ] and transported her to Shands Jacksonville for evaluation [presumably of the psychiatric nature].

[Source: First Coast News]



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